.:††:.~Carpe Noctem~.:††:.
.†.Through our Bleeding we are One.†.
I will bite straight through, as I wait for you
.†.Endlessly.†.

Heartbreak incarnate.
I'm nothing if not your memories,
your heartbreak,
please let me be your joy and your pain.

Someday I will be
those common words spoken uniquely
because I may...
will forever be floating as you feel.

Please let me haunt as scent on your pillow,
letters of past all tear stained and wrinkled.

Just say you will for me,
invite me to your memory.
Just sing again for me that long forgotten song.

Someday I will be
that waking warmth from a fading dream
because I will...
I may at best, float as you feel.

Let me be all the words echoing comfort.
Let me be all the words that you'd unsay.

”Synesthesia” ~ Davey Havok

.::.†.::.†.::.†.::.†.:*:.†.::.†.::.†.::.†.::.

but you'll hear them singing...


I promised a new journal as soon as I got Crash Love
(you should buy it too: [link] though I think it's backordered for a bit )

so here it is ^__^

So much to talk about, let's see. This is gonna be a long one...

NDK Report!

It was nearly a month ago; it seems like it was ages ago, but I'm still reeling a little haha...

I had a great time at NDK, but mostly because I did my best to separate myself from all the drama going on and just enjoy the con. I sat at the table most of the time, but I'm not terribly interested in panels so the incredibly long lines for everything didn't really affect me. ~WanderStudios did fairly well this year I think, and I hope everyone had a good time. Pretty much everyone got con crud after we got home, *CaptainMorwen got it the worst I think, followed by =Forynia
I didn't get sick, but I've been in a strange state of sniffles and random sore throats punctuated by long periods of normal health ever since. So maybe I did get sick and my body's just in denial...

~nathanime drove all the way from Kansas City to come to NDK with us! I'm so glad you came dude! It made me very happy to spend time with you and I had so much fun hanging out together with everyone! ^^
Come back soon so we can finish Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu!

I wish ~KouNaraishi had been able to come, but NOOOOO, he had to go to COLLEGE like some kind of Responsible Adult Person -_-
j/k ^_~ love ya man

I also saw *angichan/*angeline-M and =sariochan in the artist alley and we traded arts! I had fun talking to them a lot (I know I probably talked Sario-chan's ear off. . . ) ^__^ Hope I didn't bother you guys too much I miss you guys!
I wish I had been able to make more friends in AA, but I didn't want to seem like a stalker (stares at =CreativeDemi64 ) I bought some cool stuff from Danee-chan there (the one I was just e-staring at...) and from ~AmeigaArt (though I don't think I ever met *MoonlightAlchemist in person on purpose, I'm sure I saw you walking around but didn't recognize you at the time )
I also bought some cool stuff from =zetallis who I am insanely jealous of Another artist I wanted to make friends with but was too shy to really talk to for fear of seeming like a stalker
I stopped by ~SqueekyMoonkin's table at one point too, but you seemed kinda stressed so I didn't want to bother you

=Rosiel-kun and ~Inoli stopped by the table too ^^ It was really nice to finally meet you in person on purpose Rachel! I'm sure we bumped into one other at some point last year, but it was really cool to talk to you irl
And it always makes me happy to see you Inoli-chan, my Abel ^^
I loved you guys' costumes so much! ^^ I wish I had gone to the cosplay contest to see =Rosiel-kun as Grell (everyone else look look! [link] )
I need to cosplay next year

There's others too but I'm so horrible at names! Mike and friends, if you guys see this, it was really cool hanging out with you! ^^ You're welcome to chill with Wanderstudios any time yo! and my repeat badge commissioners, RedBlackandAngry!! and KawaiisparklyBlue (I do not remember your real names or your characters' names and for this I am very sorry!) I hope to see you next year and I'll make even better ones for you! I promise to improve!
anyone else I missed, I love you too!

I'll be posting all my photos soon, I just need to get around to actually doing that...I've gotten less computer time lately due to my mom's discovery of a free MMO pirate game she plays all freakin' day!! O_o



AFI news!
I finally got my copy of Crash Love! There was a huge shipping delay from the manufacturer/label so none of the preorders actually got out on time. It wasn't BandMerch's fault, and there wasn't anything that could be done about it so I wasn't terribly upset about it. But all of us that preordered probably could have gone out and bought it at the store before we got ours in the mail! Also I'm glad I opted not to get the vinyl yet because apparently there was a HUGE mixup at the printing plant and ANOTHER BAND'S RECORD was accidentally packaged in quite a few of the Crash Loves. O_o

I get a 15% discount on my next purchase from BandMerch because of the shipping delay, that lasts through the end of the month, but all I really want is the vinyl and now I'm afraid to buy it. I can't imagine how it would feel to buy a copy to keep sealed and maybe open it some day years later only to find it was always the wrong record in the right packaging. I feel bad for the people who only bought the vinyl and then didn't even get to listen to Crash Love after waiting for so long and now have to wait even longer. I know one DF'er who lives in South America and had to pay horrible taxes for the initial shipping, and now has to pay the taxes for shipping the wrong one back and getting a new one shipped to them. It's costing them over $300 for the whole super deluxe package with shipping and taxes and everything to get it fixed!


ANYWAY!!! I'm enjoying it so far. ^^ I'll admit it's a bit of a grower I'm amazed by the instrumentals and the composition of the songs; Jade has really outdone himself and Adam and Hunter sound amazing! My problem sadly is with Davey's contributions; I'm not really feeling most of the lyrics, and the pacing and melodies of the lyrics seem kinda off to me. His voice sounds amazing like everything else though, as usual ^^
I can honestly say I don't like all of the songs, but I'm willing to let them grow on me and I WILL learn every single word, as is my DF duty! I know the boys are really proud of it and I want to honor their hard work by being able to sing along at shows. They can't keep doing the same thing over and over, and it's foolish for anyone to expect them to or be upset when they don't. I want to be surprised and even perplexed because I want them to be happy and I want them to make the music they want to make. I'm really proud of how they've grown as musicians and I support them completely even if I don't like all of the songs yet

I think my favorite is "Torch Song"; the opening guitar work really reached out and grabbed me. It almost makes me want to cry actually! and I really like that song as a whole; instrumentals, composition, lyrics, melody, everything. I like "Medicate", "It was Mine", and "Too Shy To Scream" as well, and the chorus from "I Am Trying Very Hard to Be Here" has been stuck in my head since before I even heard the song (when they gave us the video of the Begin Transmission winners recording their backing vocals) ^^
Another that stands out to me is the bonus song (actually a DU B-side) "Fainting Spells", although it stands out because I really dislike parts but really like others: The opening and the bridge seem really cliche and silly to me, but I adore the chorus. The interesting thing is that I like it because it sounds very STS to me, but it's from the DU sessions haha. Anyways it's kindof a love/hate thing with that song it's very histrionic...
I wasn't terribly impressed by the other bonus songs I got on my deluxe edition either... *CharrsKliathe needs to give me his itunes bonus songs (hint hint wink wink) ^___^
I can't wait to hear these songs played live, but we probably won't get a CO date until next spring/summer "/


More recent stuff!

I went to a Mary Kay thing the other day with *CaptainMorwen and =Forynia which was pretty fun, but I felt dumb because I don't wear makeup. I got some cute lipgloss though ^^


My sister bought me a kickass winter jacket (technically for my birthday) that I wear almost constantly because it's so comfy ^____^ that and I get cold easily... I'mma be so warm this winter though! You guys have no idea how awesome that is for me

I used my NDK money to buy myself an xbox 360! *CharrsKliathe helped me pay for it (I hadn't actually intended to buy one so I didn't bring enough for tax ) and =Forynia bought me Oblivion as my birthday gift, though I've yet to play it Mark and ~Kagemusha23 have been having a good time playing it though, and I'll get to it eventually.
I need to salvage the HDMI cable from my computer (I didn't realize the HDMI 360 didn't actually come with an HDMI cable -_-) and for awhile I was able to play one of my favorite games, Theif: Deadly Shadows, even though it's technically not a backwards compatible title, but it started glitching so bad I had to stop playing. I'll just need to borrow John and Leah's xbox or buy my own like I planned to originally


My shoes are falling apart again (I wear the same ones every day and walk a lot at work. Also they're from walmart) so I'm fixin' to go shopping this weekend after I get paid ^^ There's this really cool looking hoodie at the Poppyseed in the mall that I want, but I'm not sure I'll actually get it...


I made a really bad mistake the other night and used my card instead of my mom's to buy dinner when I had no available money in my account, so I'm going to have a horrible overdraft charge -_-
It's the first time that's ever happened and I still feel really stupid "/


Also, I'm seriously considering quitting my job at Hobby Lobby. It's becoming too stressful for me, so much so that I think it's actually affecting my health. I'm not getting enough sleep and I haven't been able to sit down and draw at all! It's not even artist's block; I've got some great ideas and I'm certain I can draw them if I just get to it, but I get distracted whenever I try to draw because I can't help thinking/stressing about work...
I'm really dreading this upcoming holiday season when I usually look forward to it actually, so I think I'm gonna quit before it gets really busy.

I'm actually going to go apply at Northwest Animal Hospital tomorrow (where *CaptainMorwen works n) and maybe do some more job hunting with =Forynia's help


I need to do some new art. I haven't drawn anything since NDK! I owe ~Shukuchoku a birthday gift (I have a concept in mind for that but who knows how long it'll take ) and I'm inspired to make a Crash Love inspired piece or set ^^

I also need to start writing in c3 again and I've set a goal to try to illustrate some of that so far. We'll see how that goes.


So I've listened to the entirety of Crash Love probably 5 times since starting this journal so I think I need to stop writing...

so that's it for now! Sorry for the novel!

*edit* ALSO! Holy crap over 13,000 pageviews! THANKS SO MUCH!!!! I was gonna do a kiriban but I totally freakin' missed it haha

-So spoke Misery
~Through our Bleeding we are One~
I taste of blood
~Amadis

.::.†.::.†.::.†.::.†.:RIP Jasmine You:.†.::.†.::.†.::.†.::.

Announcements!
- decemberunderground ~ Afi - BUY IT! [link]
- CexCells ~ BlaqkAudio - BUY IT! [link]
- Go visit my sister, *CaptainMorwen!
- ~WanderStudios



My Core Lovelies




My Interweb Lovelies

Interweb Lovely #1!! ^__^


AFI Lovelies


NDK Lovelies

Just awesome ^_^



My dA Idols




.:††:.~Carpe Noctem~.:††:.
.†.Through our Bleeding we are One.†.
I will bite straight through, as I wait for you
.†.Endlessly.†.